Me: Is it Wednesday today?

Dad: All day…

Little Boy: Dad, can you put my shirt on?

Dad: No, it doesn’t fit me.

Me Shall Iput the kettle on?

Dad: You think it will suit you?

When rubbing your eye
Dad: What’s up?”
Me: “There’s something in my eye”
Dad: “Yeah, it’s your finger”

Me: Can you make me a cup of coffee/tea?
Dad: Waves his hands over your head and says ‘Poof! You are now a cup of coffee/tea!’

Me: Where’s the bin?
Dad: I haven’t been anywhere!

Me: How Long’s Dinner?
Dad: … about 9 inches..

Me: Hi there, is Monica around?
Dad: No, she’s more of an oblong shape…

Me: What’s on the TV?
Dad: Just some dust.

Me: Can I have 50 bucks?
Dad: Forty dollars? What do you need thirty dollars for?

Me: How is that water?
Dad: Wet.

Me: Can I watch the TV?

Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.