Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted
Wow! I don’t remember eating that.
WHAT DO YOU CALL A DOG WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS?
NO MATTER WHATCHU CALL ‘EM, HE AIN’T COMING. …
What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater
What is big red and eats pebbles? A big red rock eater on a diet
When the waitress asks if you want a box for the leftovers, say no but I’ll wrestle you for them.
why did the baker need to wash his hands?
because he kneaded a poo
persons says ‘I’m going to hop in the shower” Dad says why don’t you just stand in it
Cashier: Do you want your milk in a bag?
Dad: No, just leave it in the carton.
Dad farts and says “Is someone cooking popcorn in here”?
My son’s due date was today… I guess his outlook invitation forgot to give him the 15 minute prompt!