dad can we go to the baa haa mas. yeah sure let me get the sheep

Knock, knock ( who’s there) boo ( boo who) why are you crying it’s only a joke

Dad: Where do you find a dog with no legs

You: I don’t know

Dad: right were you left it

While watching a referee drag a rope through a sports field(setting up for a tug-o-war at some sort of field meet)

Me: What is he dragging that rope for?

Dad: Have you ever tried pushing rope?

(Random conversation)

Me: Have you heard of that before?

Dad: Oh yeah! That’s just like a Henway!

Me: What’s a Henway?

Dad: About 2 to 3 pounds.

Irony…the opposite of wrinkly.

Dad: Have you seen the movie constipation?

Child: No!

Dad: that’s because it hasn’t come out yet!

when you eat ranch dressing do you feel like you are on a ranch?

when you eat Italian dressing, do you feel like you are in Italy?

lettuce live in peace

when life gives you lemons what do you do? You make sour stuff.