At the Restaurant

 Upon hearing someone in a restaurant dropping glasses or crockery – “Sack the juggler!”

Upon hearing someone in a restaurant dropping glasses or crockery – “Taxi!”

Upon hearing someone in a restaurant dropping glasses or crockery – “It wasn’t me!”

Anywhere with stuffed and mounted animal heads – “It must have been going pretty fast when it hit that wall!”.

‘I’ll be your waiter tonight’ … ‘I’ll be your customer!’

At the Greek Restaurant, the waiter hands your Dad the menu, and he says. ‘Can you recommend something. This menu’s all greek to me.’

When the waiter mentions on of the specials tonight is chicken, Dad says ‘none for me its foul!’

When being offered a hot towel in a Chinese restaurant, Dad says ‘No thank you, I’m full!’

Trying to order soup in a basket.

Mentioning to the waiter that, ‘I’m on a special seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.’